Stats

First this entry is dedicated to my lovely and amazing friend Tiffany Chaney. Better known as 'Artist in the Making'. She was kind and generous enough to make the top logo. Not to mention has been inspiring me for years with her work. This includes writing, painting, poems, blogging, and everything in general. She is a true artist and should be celebrated. For example my favorite piece she's done:

I highly encourage a trip over to her site www.tiffanychaney.com to see and purchase other amazing art.

Now for the topic at hand: Stats.
What kind of stats you say? Well every time you log into that lovely dating site, it has the stats of how many people have viewed your page that week. Included in that is the list of the people who look. My current stats:

10... My assistant Jared is going to help us count that out:

Thank you Jared. 10 views a week. That's pathetic. When I first joined over the summer I was getting around 65 views a week. So what do we do? The solution is simple.

SLUT IT UP ON THE INTERNET!

I had to think. Do I really want to do that to myself. Put up a ton of pictures and change my profile everyday? Not really...but then I gave it more thought and asked myself would it be worth it and the answer:

No the answer wasn't fist pump like we are in Jersey. But rather 'Hells Yeah!' In the end whoring yourself ultimately will land you a man...

So the project at hand: By adding new pictures and changing my profile how many views can I get in one week. I'm a man of science. So I will continually track everyday to see the differences.

I need to decide on some pics to put up. I have seen some guys put up pictures like this

And I think to myself 'wow that looks awesome.' Then again this photo is of Jensen Ackles. Ergo it's professionally done. Secondly I don't think my lips, jawline, or any one section of my face is sexy. We can't forget the most important lesson Jensen has ever taught us:

Truer words were never spoken. So here is my problem how to be sexy without compromising the fact that I don't want to look like: 1. I'm trying too hard 2. I am not sexy but rather cute 3. I'm going to make a giant twat of myself...

In addition to low numbers there was another shocker. 'The Lawyer' had looked at my profile. Here's the story:

Once upon a time there was a boy who went on a dating site. (das me!) And he looked around and saw this attractive boy. (das the laywer) But the one boy was too shy and couldn't think of anything to say to the lawyer so he decided not to message him. Well one day the lawyer messaged the boy. They talked and had a lovely conversation and then became facebook friends. From that point on anytime they tried to talk on facebook the conversation was one sided. Aka the lawyer really wasn't engaging like he originally had. Finally the shy guy (das me!) asked the really hot lawyer out for coffee. The laywer said yes. However a day later when trying to plan when the coffee date would occur, the lawyer (das him) said "I don't think you realize I'm in lawschool...etc etc" He apparently is too busy to have coffee. Even though the shy guy (das not me but still a shy guy)

said he would drive over 2 hours to have said coffee date. Needless to say the coffee date never happened. Even though the lawyer got the shy guy's hopes up.

So here's the problem with this story. If you are in law school and you don't have time to spare for someone to drive 2 hours to your location to have coffee, why are you on a dating site?!?!

The real issue with the lawyer is that he had a great personality the first time we talked. He was engaging and funny. His personality was awesome. Then came the amazing icing on the lawyer cake. He could sing. He was in a band and I heard his stuff. It was good and sexy. He was attractive. Like genuinely attractive had nice eyes, a great smile, like cambells he was Mmm Mmm good. Also he was a twin. I love twins. Sure it was fraternal but still a twin. Now for the final detail that made him perfect and made me want to marry him. He was a fan of:

Those goonies.

So yeah on paper he was exactly everything I would like. He also was a rebound after Mike. I would love to message him and actually have that coffee date because I feel like if we met in person he'd see I'm not a dumb twat. But I think the window of opportunity has been closed for a while now.

Well that's it for now. I'm going to go post new pictures and play the internet whoring game. I will keep the blog posted with details and updates aka a graph of views for the week to see if it was a success or not...here's hoping.