Gang we've got a mystery to solve!

Here's what you  need to solve it:

And the secret message as left in my inbox on that dating site:

I was going to write back 'learn to complete a sentence then holler atcho boy.' But after taking a quick glimpse at this profile I realized he is from the Philippines. So needless to say I didn't respond. However there is this cute new guy that I am mildly mailing. I'm not getting my hopes up yet. Just seeing how things progress...

Back to the point

So I realized this is considered a 'guide' and I have not instructed anything yet. The first topic I'm going to teach you what to do, how to deal with unwanted advances: Note I'm in grey.

After that he didn't respond to me again. The thing is people don't like laziness. It's funny cause everyone seems to procrastinate but just because some people (including myself) are more upfront about liking to sleep and hate working, he automatically demoted me. Note if you are a girl, not having a job may not be a deal breaker. So might I suggest you say that you are living off your child support.

Now lets say you're at a bar and someone touches your ass/junk. What do you do or respond? I found one viable option is to take their hand and place it on their junk and tell them 'you'll have more luck there' and walk away.

I'll try and think of more situations later that I've encountered. I wish I had all my emails from over the summer saved then I could show you more ridiculous messages and how to get guys to stop messaging you.

Basically this site is like man-shopping. You click through pages and you look at different guys. I've seen this once before...

Yeah something like that...