*Clever Name*

Ok as many of you may or may not know, but I am a firm believer in showing interest. If you are going to mail/IM someone you could potentially befriend/date you should be specific in your messages.

 

This message was engaging, simple, and a challenge. He is pretty much saying you know lets talk and find some common ground. No expectations included. *Note I did not respond because what isn't shown here is the fact that Mikey was close to 300 lbs.

 Here is an example of how things go bad

Now I'm sure a lot of you are thinking how is this bad? Here's some of the problems. 

1. There is no mention of his name anywhere in the message

2. He does not specifically mention anything that peaked his interest

3. 'I will always put my man first in my life' decodes to "I will be up your ass"

4. What better life? Mentally this is what I question:

Training monkeys? 

 (taken from http://www.asylum.com/2008/12/19/primate-payback-performing-monkeys-get-revenge/)

Having kids?

 (taken from http://sflchronicle.com/2010/09/o-m-g-attack-of-the-gingers/)

Living in a double wide?

(taken from http://www.dvorak.org/blog/2010/10/21/texas-candidate-for-guv-promises-to-move-into-a-double-wide-trailer-if-elected/)

So as if that message wasn't annoying. 

 At this time I'd like for all of you to scroll up to the previous message and look at the right side for the time stamp. *Waits patiently for you to scroll*

Welcome back! So a month later and he sends me the same message. Last month I just ignored him completely. We all know what happens:

Boys are the same way. You give them validation next thing you know they are chatting you up wanting to text and go to dinner like they are your boyfriend. That's no bueno. So after my shock of getting the same exact message 2 times from the same dude. A dude who looks like the spawn of:

 Cindy Lou Who

And

A baby elephant. (Aww bby elephant)

I know that sounds mean and childish but it's somewhat true. There is room for debate based on artistic vision.

Anyway back to the message. I ignored the first one. The second one I felt needed a response so here's what I said:

To which he responded

Ouch. I just schooled by an inarticulate whophant. (Whophant: The spawn of Cindy Lou Who and a Baby Elephant)

Some days I wonder if I'm too picky. Other days I wonder if I just have standards...