Shit I forgot in my last post.

2 entries ago I talked about a guy who looked like Sloth from the Goonies. Well shortly after realizing that he wasn't from a different country (err sort of), he's from Georgia, I decided he was a bit uneducated for my liking. But isn't there some quote about being stubborn or persistent gets what they want? Because he keeps trying...my inbox like a day after that convo
*I just got my paint program...GAME ON!*

The May 25th one just makes me sad. You are really going to try after I ignored your 3 other messages? The messages themselves were quality:

There were 2 more but I'm tired of trying to edit them. At this rate I will never finish this entry. A guy just started talking to me. Not sure how I feel about that right now.

Back to the point the shit I forgot.

The first was while we were dancing at the bar on Saturday this guy was with this group of girls and he was wearing a hat. And he turned around and looked exactly like Mike. My heart did that pang thing. Where it hurts and goes hollow for just a split second then the feeling fades from top to bottom of it. I literally had to just shake my head and keep from mentally exploding or breaking or something. I was like holy shit what is he doing here. Then I realized that it's not him. I don't know which would've been better if it was him, or the reality that it wasn't. The rest of the night I kept doing double glances just to make sure it wasn't him. Nerdy I know. But I had to.

When I was in bed that night I had a lot of 'what if' questions. What if it was Mike? What would I say? Oh Hi Mike. Nice to finally meet you in person. Thanks for blowing me off and getting my hopes up? Oh hey I still think about you all the time? I still have strong feelings for you? The whole thing just mentally raped my emotions. I say I am over him till I think about him. Bleh. I fucking hate it. I just need to remember that he was wrong for me. Lesson learned. (Fuck the break up CD I'm currently making playing in the background making me feel worse right now haha)

Lighter topic. I GOT A SHANE FILAN MATCH! I haven't played on myheritage for a long time. But I did and I got Shane as a match. Then I also got a few where I had Marky. No shocker there.

Next today I read the entire book 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower' by Stephen Chbosky. I read it in high school and loved it. Now rereading it I loved it even more. It's funny how a book feels like an old friend. You know the stories but it still feels close to your heart. Although this time I will say that it hits close to home. Not all of it obviously because there are some serious issues in it that I don't have. It's little things I identify with like his style of writing. Charlie (the narrator) writes like he talks...seem familiar? The way he knows certain moments he'll never forget and when he's in them he tries to capture every ounce of it. I try to be like that but it's hard. He's also incredibly nostalgic and emotional.  Two things I identify with a ton. I always felt like I was too emotional for my own good.

What struck me as odd is that normally when I read I never really picture the people. When I think of scenes I imagine there's stuff going on but never like bodies. The only time I do is if there is a movie. Like the Harry Potter series I could imagine a lot of it easier because there were human shapes to fill my head. Well for Perks of Being a Wallflower I really never tried to picture Charlie or his friends. However I have no idea why or the reason but I pictured Patrick to be very similar to Brian McFadden.
The only thing I could think of is that they are goofballs but really genuine people. That's about it. Or the fact he got drunk and dropped his trousers to fart in the face of Ireland and that seems like something Patrick would do. But none the less this was my mental image.

(taken from http://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/music/soundz-like-a-hit-20100422-tfvz.html)

 (taken from http://news.superiorpics.com/2007/03/27/McFADDEN_DECLARES_KATONA_WEDDING_A_DISASTER.html)

*Note the article from the last picture is actually kinda funny. Well not funny as in haha but funny as in he's grown up enough now to see the mistake.

 Last thought of the night. Shit that bugs me: Myself. I hate that I'm a coward. I think I've honestly only said out-loud that I'm gay maybe 3 times. I literally can't wrap my head around that phrase. I think it's because I'm still not really comfortable with it. I guess years of being mocked for it have instilled a fear which is reasonable. But I need to try to put those childhood and awkward high school  years aside. Apparently I'm attractive enough if guys want to use me for sex I just need to find a guy to use me for my love. I really wish I felt as confident as I wish I did.

I think I know where this is going....

18+ entry. Like always.

Ugh where to start this entry. There are two main points that I want to talk about today.

1. The shitty birthday party I went to this weekend.
2. The boy who wants to get into my pants

We'll start with number 1 just because that's logical. Unless we wanted to do Doctor Who Timelordian way then we'd start with two, do the middle section of 1, then tell a third story that influenced the first part of number one and wrapped up number one perfectly, would make sense, and be amazing. I'm not that talented. So we are keeping this simple.

R. B. Mycoal

Staring in:

The Birthday Party From Hell

The title might be a bit exaggerated but it felt that bad. First thing first: I did not want to go to this party. I didn't want to make a big deal over Neil's bday. He claims he's my best friend but as you know I don't feel the same. The party was downstate and I had never been there and had 0 clue how to get there. This being the case I offered to drive Neil so I had him to direct me to the place. We go to see the movie Bridesmaids which was fine. Then we go to a Mexican restaurant. Dinner actually was pretty good although it was so loud it made conversation pretty difficult. Neil sat there talking to Jodi for about the whole time. Shocker. We know.

At this point in time there were 5 of us at dinner but once that concluded two of our adventurers had to depart. One had a long treck back to Jersey the other had homework. So it was now down to Jodi and I to make Neil's bday party a success for the rest of the night. Difficult feat for a guy who is fucking miserable. 

*Side story* One of our friend's declined for the whole days activities because she had a lunch to go to. LOL I love when lunch plans ruin my bar trips at 10 at night. The truth behind it is that she doesn't like Neil. Neil made her uncomfortable by not taking the hint she was seeing someone else and not interested. Plus throw in some Facebook stalking and you have the normal recipe for the awkward life that is Neil. Who recently asked me if there is something wrong with him. I didn't have the heart to tell him yes. So I sugar coated it down to a you just make mistakes and that's ok you're human love favors the lucky. *back to our program*

From dinner we decide we are going to hang out on main street. Jodi invited her brother and his friends however they were predisposed when she called. There was talk of them meeting us later in the night. That never happened. The geniuses that they were went to the wrong bar. But at the time we decided to kill some time chilling at the local pizza place where all the college kids dwell. Jodi decides to have a drink, I declined because I was driving and wanted to drink later in the night, Neil doesn't have a drink either- the reason: because he didn't want one. His bday party yet he isn't drinking even though I'm playing DD. Conversation starts and it's funny because its bad mouthing someone who I used to fancy but no longer do. Then Neil decides to start discussing how there are no Catholic rituals that take base in the bible, to which Jodi starts to defend seeing as she's Catholic. 

*hits button*

(taken from http://www.iconarchive.com/show/button-icons-by-deleket/Button-Fast-Forward-icon.html)

*and stop*

Half hour later they are still talking about that damn topic. Here is an artist interpretation of how I looked at that point.

(taken from http://www.sodahead.com/entertainment/what-would-the-world-be-like-without-music/question-1710161/?link=ibaf&imgurl=http://www.misterhobbes.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/stewie_gun_mouth_super_commit_sucide.jpg&q=gun%2Bin%2Bmouth)

It was so incredibly boring. Then like a Godsend I hear a familiar song. Tik Tok starts playing. I immediately smile and have like an epic montage in my head. It looked like this:

http://youtu.be/lAqrz5BCZ6k

I tried to put the video in but stupid blogger is ridiculously horrible. But I had that montage in my head of epic Doctor Who-ness and it made it better. So once Tik Tok stopped playing we decided that more people need to drink aka me. So I said I'll drink if we can dance. That made us move upstairs to the bar with the better dance floor. When we got there it was still somewhat early so not too many people were dancing. We told Neil we want to do birthday shots to celebrate he says no. He won't drink anything. He was just standing there at a bar on the dance floor watching the TV's. Jodi and I decide well if he won't drink we will. She and I go and grab drinks and start dancing. The whole night Neil didn't dance once. Jodi grabbed him and tried to move him but he was being so lame,w ouldn't drink wouldn't dance and wasn't even trying to be any fun or have any sign of a personality. PRO-TIP THAT'S WHY YOU'RE SINGLE!! But Jodi and I tried to make the best of it. It was a great night in that I saw a ton of people I know and got to see my lil cousin who is oh so amazing.

On to the next topic!!

Let me first explain the back story. This guy who we shall name 'Abe' contacted me on the site. He was nice to talk to. We texted back and forth. After like 2 days he wanted to be Facebook friends but I said no after our first date. This keeps down my friend counts and prevents them from saying dumb shit on there. He seemed like a genuine guy but he was slightly boring. He never really asked too much about me.

The night of hte 30stm we were texting a fair amount and at like 12:30 on the way home he wanted to drive an hour to come see me. Keep in mind we have never met at that point but he wants to see me. He had been drinking. He also was saying shit like 'You're so cute' 'I'm going to cuddle the shit out of you' Normally I don't mind that but A. he kept giving me physical compliments instead of trying to get to know me and B you don't say I'm going to cuddle the shit out of you after a week of talking and never having met. It was out of place and out of line. So after he asked me no lie 4 times to hang out with him at like 2 in the morning and ditch Neil I was like look dude it's not going to happen. He couldn't take the hint.  Looking back that scenario makes so much sense.

A few days later we were texting he kept asking to hang out but his time table made it incredibly awkward to meet anywhere in public.  I thought he got mad at me and we didn't talk for like 2 weeks?...until tonight. Here is the conversation and I hope you all read it the way I do because it makes me feel like he only wants me for sex. Like the other time at 2 in the morning he prolly just wanted to do stuff. Now that I think about it I think he made reference to him making out with me that night...
Note the ratio of his questions to mine. Also note what he asks me.



Abe: hey

hey stranger

Abe: how are you?

I can't complain how about you?

Abe: same
Abe: just been busy

work or other stuff?

Abe: both

haha do tell

Abe: well i got a job
Abe: have to finish my internship

i thought you had one working with the childrenz
ahhh
that's right
sorry i'm a bit slow
so what is your job?

Abe: at a nursing home outside *city*

doing what?

Abe: ill be a *nouns* coordinator

that sounds intense
do you like it so far or still nervous cause you're new?

Abe: i dont start until the end of june

you excited?

Abe: yup

so what else besides the job anything fun?

Abe: nope
Abe: you?

my friends have like popped out of the woodwork
they've been keeping me incredibly busy
although the one friend was a complete twat at his bday party
*brief anecdote he makes one comment which was haha*
when do you finish your internship

Abe: june 2*th

so you're not taking any time btwn jobs

Abe: nope

that sucks
you need to live a little

Abe: oh i will

really?
*talk of hours*

so nice pay increase i presume

Abe: yup

gonna order a mail order bride?

Abe: probably
Abe: but more like male order bride

right right
russian?

Abe: ooh yeah

that's sexy

Abe: with a big dick

only the best
what's he gonna look like?

Abe: tall hunky tight ass

sounds good
but you can't afford me

Abe: lol

you had to see that coming

Abe: once you experience my ass-eating skills you might reconsider  I apologize. I was just as grossed out as you when I read that. I should have prepared you but you don't deserve a warning if I didn't get one.

oh now i can't wait to snog you Nothing says that's so hot like ass eating. Vom.

Abe: snog?

make out

Abe: lol

so do you eat a lot of ass that you pride those skills?

Abe: lol

and yet you didn't answer
slut

Abe: hey!

i kid i kid
or do i?

Abe: you better be bitch
*lull in convo*

tell me a story

Abe: im rubbing my cock lol

so it's a short story
gotcha

Abe: yup
Abe: you horny? At that point it clicked with me. He has asked me that every time I've talked to him. He also tells me when he jerks it and is talking to me.

lol why do I think I know where this is going

Abe: lol

was that your subtle way of asking me to cyber?

Abe: no Yes
Abe: you masturbating?

no not yet I'm a little busy talking to people, listening to britney spears, and playing WoW. Not to mention you have turned me off.

Abe: you horny?

we're guys aren't we always? I had no idea what else to say. I thought I evaded it the first time.

Abe: lol
Abe: you top or bottom? This question is awkward considering we haven't been on a date. I'm not sexually attracted to him. I'm a virgin. But at the end of all that there is one blessing. If you guess what the other guy is and say it, you can't break it off. You can't have a relationships with two bottoms it just doesn't work so I had a 50/50 shot.

top
you? Please say top...

Abe: bttm vers Damn it!
Abe: 8c <~~~ wtf is that a smilie?

?

Abe: i am

?

Abe: what

8c?

Abe: 8 inches cut

oh gotcha
are you on manhunt? I asked that because it's a hook up site. If he's on there he only really wants one thing. I know of this site because Mike said that he was on that and another site.

Abe: no
Abe: i mean i have a profile but i dont use it So technically you are on manhunt...

gotcha

Abe: i use a4a That's short for Adam for Adam. The other site Mike was on...

never been on there is that's a hook up site right?

Abe: yup

you pull a lot of guys on there?

Abe: nope
Abe: ok bed time

congrats on the new job
have a good night

Abe: thanks
Abe: chat soon? It's funny because usually a chat isn't one side trying to get to know the other person while the other only talks about jerking off and ass eating.

yeah definitly
*insert an E in there

Abe: lol

Now I know gay men think about sex a lot but I feel like he only wants me for sex or some other form of physical contact. Like Mike as much as he was a slut and would admit it, I never in a million years felt like he was using me like that. He genuinely was interested in me as a person and was comfortable talking about that stuff with him. It wasn't one sided and out of no where. Am I being hyper sensitive? Should I be flattered that someone is obviously interested in me. Or is my freaked out attitude warranted? I feel used and I don't know if that's the right feeling for this situation but it's what I got.


Gratuitous picture to make me smile:

Thank you Kristin Chenoweth. She's so happy.

Pooky? Really?

I'm not sure if it was the last entry or the entry before that but I introduced you all to a guy named Troy. As I said then and I will reaffirm that I am not interested in this bloke. I never have been. I've done everything but say stop talking to me for him to take the hint. Well let's just say hint not taken...

No not blocked. I just haven't logged on because there is no one on worth talking to. So what do I do? I log on. Mainly because I love having stuff to talk about in here. And here's how that convo went.


Troy: Hi pooky

pooky really?
do you think you're idina menzel?

Troy: yah that's your nickname
Troy: pooky is garfield's cute teddy bear
Troy: I love Idina Menzel
Troy:that'd be fine with me
Troy: just you and IIIIIIIIIIIIII defyyyyyyyyying graaaaaaavity *think that shit don't say it*
Troy: you totally had me blocked, don't lie
Troy: you didn't show up online for like a month and now you show up again

I didn't block you
i just wasn't online


Troy: well nice to see you again
Troy: how's life

crazy as ever how about you

Troy: same.........work is insane
Troy: what does idina menzel have to do with pooky?

take me baby or leave me

Troy: =)
Troy: your new pic is hot
Troy: as were your old ones

thanks
so what have you been upto

Troy: just work really Cause you're fucking boring

that's exciting

Troy: very.......blah
Troy: today I'd have given ANYTHING for a split second of not being inerrupted or having to multi-task
Troy: I stayed an hour late just to have peace for an hour

so you can't multi task

Troy: well
Troy:it's not my strong-point

what is your strong point? Because after talking to you this many times I'm not finding any.

Troy: my cock

(taken from http://www.viethoroscope.com/vietnamese-zodiac-signs/vietnamese-year-of-the-rooster/)

Troy: I dunno
Troy: I'm caring and laidback

you define who you are by your cock I've never seen it but I can assure you his cock does not look like that. That one is cute and has a personality.
hmm...

Troy: lol
Troy: just messing with you

oh good
i can only imagine if you weren't

Troy: haha
Troy: I love your humor
Troy: can we make out now? Really? I won't give you my phone number or add you on facebook and you want to snog?

no sorry

Troy: =(
Troy: gonna watch some tv
Troy: nice to talk again.........catch you later

If I didn't half this half assed blog I would not be talking to him at all and he would be on block. Continuing the stupid boys I've met...

So that is automated. Which I hate. Why would you wink at me. If you want to talk say 'hey what's going on' So I look at the picture of the guy and his ears are a bit weird. Very similiar to this guy's ears

(taken from http://gordonandthewhale.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/sloth.jpeg)

Yes that is sloth from the goonies. Anyway so I clicked his profile to find this:

So I decided to be a smart ass to the wink

But he turned out to be nice. I'm going to go with English isn't his native language? Oh well. I wish there was some guy who was remotely cute and actually had a personality to talk to these days. I'm starting to lose hope again.

Oh so I forgot to type out the long night that was the 30 Seconds to Mars concert. This is the abridged version
1. It was theme night. My friend Chris knew for 2 weeks and didn't tell me. Luckily I found out so we could get dressed up in neon rave stuff. This is what 30stm wore that night

(taken from http://www.thedailybeast.com/galleries/2874/10/)

2. Jared Leto is fucking crazy. He literally has crazy in his eyes.
2.5 I recorded Attack on my camera
2.75 Jared literally climbs on the gate like 8 feet in front of me and sings about 4 minutes of the kill like right near me. Fricking amazing.
3. Jared kept telling people to take 3 steps forward so this bitch literally gets in a position like this

(taken from http://www.lollylegs.com/training/Starting.aspx)

And fucking charges through people to get closer to the stage. The bitch ended up in front of me. Nothing pisses me off then people who aren't standing there the whole time. You did not earn that spot. So like any responsible adult I crushed the fuck out of her and pushed her for a good 10 minutes. Till she asked me what the fuck my problem was. To which I told her it was her and that she wasn't here since 7. This was at like 10:30 at night I'm sorry after 3 hours of holding my spot some little cunt is not about to take it. So her friend or someone else was like what's the problem why don't you put her on your shoulders and I said that's not going to fucking happen. She soon left afterwards because well she was about to fall because she couldn't keep her balance. It's not my fault people were pushing me in to her.

4. I was angry after that and someone woman was crowd surfing. Again people expectingme to lift and carry them forward. Not happening I let her fall.

5. This other girl who was standing near me the whole show wanted me to have me lift her on my shoulders. I physically couldn't do it. I'm not strong enough. She wasn't fat I just have like 0 muscle. So I told her I had surgery. Later in the night I helped her get on this other guys shoulders and held her up for like 20 minutes and then helped her get down safetly. She thanked me by giving me a kiss. Chris saw this. 

6. Last song of the night Jared Leto gets fucking crazy starts pulling people on stage. So now everyone in the pit is pushing their hardest to get closer so they can go on. Chris was next to this guy and girl who were normal colored oompaloompahs. They were that short. Well the guy had the girl on his shoulders like the whole night but then was too tired so Chris helped her up. Well Jared called her onto stage so Chris wades through the crowd with her on his shoulders and literally throws her to the security guard to get on. At that point the douchebag to my immediate left starts a mosh pit. Ignoring the fact there are 3 people on guys shoulders right in the area and they could fall and get hurt (do you like my switch to concern of people falling now) So I leave my area and head to the back of the pit because I didn't want to get crushed. Low and behold Chris throws the other little guy on stage then climbs up himself. So he's on stage and I'm in the back it was slightly unfair but whatever.

7. We get out to the parking lot and I'm like that's cool Jared pulled you on stage 'No he didn't pull me on stage I had to muscle my way. I earned that spot on stage' I'm thinking ok whatever. Then goes you know that girl I was talking to well after the show ended she just came up to me and jumped in my arms and gave me a big hug. I personally didn't see this happen. Then he continues yeah she was pretty cute I should've gotten her number. Well you were near her for 3 hours, she had a date, now suddenly she's on you and you want her number. That's funny how I got a kiss and now you're interested in someone who gave you a hug. (Since that night he has found no lie 4 other girls that he is interested in)

8. He decides the night was awesome and we need photos. So he takes my camera and snaps a photo of me and then drops my camera and breaks it. He says he's sorry but does not offer once to pay for repairs or a new one. I'm devastated. My cameras = my children. I'm still very bitter about it but I can't really think about it or I'll cut someone.

All and all it was an amazing show and I'd love to do it again. However in December the band is breaking up. So I am lucky I got to see them live and get to participate in the mosh pit chorus of Attack. Something I've wanted to do since like 2007. 

NEW TOPIC W.O.W. LIFE

So this weekend I finally caved in. After weeks of not really having fun in my raids and really just not having fun I switched. Kian my gnome is no longer a gnome. He has grown up and gotten blue skin. He's now Shnicky the mage. So Sunday night after a 'fun raid' (not that it's fun but it's old content which is more fun than progression and hard work fights) I realized my time was up. I'm sick of feeling like it's a job and not a game. Well I was going to talk to my friend, we'll call her Bee, about my transfer. I started to talk but she logged off really fast because she felt sick. Bee and I have been close for probably about 6 months we talk all the time and do just about everything together when we can. The only problem is she's a bit of a cry baby and a drama queen. So my friend Stacy who I love and adore and I met 2 years ago on wow, we are facebook friends, and just all around good friends that click. She used to be our guild but left due to drama between some people and her husband. She made a character just to talk to some of her old friends and hang out. Well I said 'Yay my bff is back' well Bee took the huff. A day after her not talking to me she goes you know what you said really hurt me. It made me cry. She's 29 fucking years old and saying that to me when she knows Stacy and I talk everyday and are facebook friends and all that. Then I tell her about me switching to the Horde side and joining Stacy's guild. She's like I wish you the best I should've known you'd go to play with her. Regardless of the fact Stacy left in January and it's now May. So it's been a few days since my transfer and I wanted to talk to Bee just to clear the air and salvage our friendship. She's somewhat normal and whatever but she's like 'yeah i'm leaving to a new realm. I hope you do well' and that's it. Normally we talk for like hours and she ends the conversation again like that. She needs to grow the fuck up. Like a year of friendship being thrown away because I'm trying to find some happiness.

Luckily for me I did decide to leave. This week they decided that the 25 man raid groups weren't progressing enough so they were breaking down into 2 10 man teams. One that would focus on gear and one would focus on hardmodes. Well I'm fully geared. And I'm not really a favorite. So the guild has 5 officers each of them would get in the h mode groups then that leaves 5 spots for like 15 people to compete for. I'm a mage. I'm one of 4. I'm so replaceable. I'd never see that content. Luckily I did switch. I don't want to have to fight for a spot and I don't want to bang my head against the wall. A couple of my friends already said they want to switch realms or become Horde. I just dont see how you can take a guild meant for 25 constant raiders and have an elite team of 10 and keep morale. There are still people who need normal mode kills let alone heroic. *rolls eyes* And I'm sure I've bored the lot of you with this rant.

CURRENT OBSESSION

 

Loving season 4. The doctor's companion is Catherine Tate. She's just as funny on Doctor Who as she was on her own show.  I highly recommend a watch as always.  I need to go to Europe soon. David Tennant aka the 10th doctor is in Much Ado About Nothing with Catherine Tate aka FUCKING AMAZING. I cant think of a better reason to blow thousands of dollars on a week. Well maybe I could think of one or 5...

Lawlz. I apologize to the squeamish readers.

Anyway this is distracting from my Doctor Who watching. I shall return later with news of Chris' bday party...