Truer words were never spoken. Even though nothing about that describes me in reality....moving on.
So on Yahoo news they were discussing two new eating disorders that are becoming more common. This part of the report made me laugh
My mother would be an adult picky eater. Mainly because she has food allergies and tends to stick to food that doesn't upset her stomach.
Orthorexics is that the new technical term for a vegan?
If this next section of my entry were a Britney Spears song it'd be called Boys. But not the remix obviously because remixes tend to be good and this is just well not.
Pretext to the story: So this guy who we will call Troy. I use this name because he jokingly likes this name better than his real name. He contacted me on that site, he was nothing but nice and wanted to chat on aim. We talk and he has asked me out about 3 times now and I have told him that I'm not really interested because he lives an hour away. Oh I also am incredibly sarcastic to him and I think it's starting to hurt his feelings...and he's incredibly gay. Like I can handle some but I fear he might be deemed flaming if we ever meet. Note as I was re-reading our convo some of it is boring. If you would like to skip this section you will note that the end of it will be marked with a picture of a dog riding a giant ram.
Troy: Hi Mike
Hey Troy
Troy:how was your night?
it was decent until i realize my wii is broken
Troy:sorry to hear that
you did it, didn't you
Troy:hmmmmmmm
Troy:I'll replace it I promise :'-(
nah it's cool
save yer money for a flat
Troy:ouch
what was mean about that?
Troy:oh sorry I took it meanl ol
i said save your money for an apartment
that was mean?
Troy:I dunno
Troy:you could mean it mean
Troy:nevermind
Troy:if you meant nothing by it there's nothing for me to explain
Troy:so ummmmmm
Troy: whatcha doing
sorry was talking to my mom
boring stuff that lead us to this point
where you driving i thought you had nothing till sunday
Troy: well I'd like to plan something
Troy:hang out with a friend or something I think he means me
go call them up
Troy:well so far they're all working
Troy:I'm the only one with a 9-5
what a way to make a living
so what's your dream job
Troy:that's a good question
Troy: something well paying in California
Troy:like Ellen Degeneres' assistant or something
Troy:that'd be pretty sweet
Troy:something in the entertainment industry where I can get tickets to anything I want
Troy:haha
^^ Lots of Ims like that in a row means I was playing warcraft and was not paying attention to him.
usually you have to work during that stuff
Troy:well I didn't think we were being realistic
Troy:haha
ok describe your dream boyfriend I saw his answer coming by the way...
Troy:extremely sarcastic
Troy: *my state* resident
Troy:likes to pick on me
Troy:haha
you must have low self esteem to like mean guys
Troy:where did I say mean to me?
pick on you
Troy:playfully
Troy:(hopefully)
Troy:someone who listens to me. Who can hold a serious conversation. Who will be 100% honest
Troy:someone who is as interested in me as I am them Which is going to be hard because as you read you will soon realize how uninteresting he is...
Troy:one sided is definitely no fun
Troy:of course I suppose I then have to be interesting as well.......so that could propose a challeng
Troy:how about you?
i apologize for being so rude I realized that each attempt on the boss in WoW I was answering every 8 minutes and 35 seconds
and taking my time there was some drama
Troy:it's ok I understand
Troy:I don't think you're rude
I do it's ignorant to not at least say hold on
Troy:it happens to the best of us
so my dream guy
5'9
short blonde hair
ocean blue eyes
irish accent
I have no idea who I could possibly be referring to how about you Kian or Nicky?
Troy:I'm picturing this actor who was in Eat. Pray. Love. briefly
Troy:although I guess he was kinda more aussie than irish
aussie rugby players Mentally I was referring to David Williams as shown below
Troy:oh yum
Troy:would you accept lazy boy next door?
Troy:lol
Troy:who is slightly taller
Troy:irish heritage minus the accent haha
oh sorry forgot
husky irish accent
Troy:huh?
like a husky voice
Troy:oh my
Troy:maybe during role play Was that supposed to excite me? Cause it didn't.
you know it sounds almost strained and heavy but that's their normal raspy voice I am very skeptical that a guy like this exists what do you think?
Nicky is skeptical too...anyway
Troy: interesting
Troy: better keep looking then Trust me I plan on it.
Troy: haha
oh i know where it's at
Troy:http://adorkablegrrl.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/then-we-started-kissing-like-this.jpg
Troy:makes me laugh every time
i see that everyday
Boring guessing game of what I named my hamster. He said cummerbund...just because I'm gay does not mean I'd name my hamster something as equally as gay.
Troy:maybe if I went down clients at work I would have gotten that one
lots of ruskies?
Troy:hmm?
Troy:my exes?or the clients
Troy:nvm
so do you not play sports/activities?
Troy:no
Troy:I go to zumba class on Monday nights
Troy:work out
Troy:been doing that for like 3 or 4 months now
Insert brief delay of him confusing my sarcasm for reality.
Troy:yeah I like it because.........>>I hate to work out........and when I do that I have fun and enjoy it
Troy:I don't feel criticized........and the two instructors are really fun
Troy:it's kinda like...........take a vegetable you hate then fry it and dip it in ranch dressing
Troy:kinda makes the pill easier to swallow
eh not a big fan of deep fried stuff
trying not to get fat
Troy:me neither
how tall are you?
Troy:6'4
and how much do you weigh
Troy:haha love how it's always prefaced by how tall are you
Troy: I haven't weighed myself recently
well 5'4 160 is different than 6'4 160
Troy:but anywhere between 190 and 205
Troy:34 - 36" waist
gotcha
Troy:people typically call me skinny
Troy:except for vain gay guys with 6 pack abs
i just like to compare
i'm 6'4 as well
Troy:nice
Troy:how much do you weigh?
4 pac abs <~~~ complete lie
i'm 170 <~~~ Truth
Troy:cool
Troy:I think it'd be the most amazing thing in the world
Troy:to just once...........go to kiss a guy..........and be face to face
Troy:without having to lean down Was I supposed to be like aww I'm so that guy? Because I'm not.
well as my mother always says, it doesn't matter when you're laying down
Troy:lmao
Troy:I knew that was coming
Troy:but still
Troy:I'd so love to meet someone my height
Here is the point where by posting this I'm probably violating a lot of trust and privacy issues but that's why I use fake names to protect the innocent parties.
so how many boyfriends have you had?
Troy:I'll say two
Troy:nothing else has made it to that status
could people not see the 3rd? I think his last boyfriend was
Troy:haha yeah he was imaginary
did that enhance the sex life?
Troy:yes unfortunately
Troy:well there's nothing unfortunate about enhanced sex life
Troy:so scratch that
Idle chat that led to a joke that started a sex talk...
Troy:and I even considered bringing your mom into it
go for it
Troy:naaaaaaaaah I won't stoop to your level
please do i love the company
Troy:only if when I stoop down it's accompanied by a ::zip flop:: sound At that point I had rolled my eyes for the 357 time that night
you need to get laid me thinks
Troy:I do
Troy:I won't lie
haha
Troy:is that a bad thing?
no it happens
how long has it been
Troy:I don't have an exact count for you, but many months
slut
Troy:at least 6
haha
Troy:pfffffffff
Troy:far from it
what's your number
Dumb-ass gives me his phone number
i meant sexual number
Troy:haha
Troy:dick size?
no like number of guys and girls you've been with
Troy:OH
Troy:I don't have a count sorry
Troy:well 0 girls
Troy:if that helps
*rolls eyes*
Troy:if you're going to talk specific acts
Troy:then certian numbers are much lower than others
sex
like sex
Troy:like anal?
is that how 2 men have sex?
Troy:yes
Troy:there's oral as well
Troy:I want to say around 5 or 6
oral does not count in the sexual numbers game
Troy:great
Troy:because I'd be a total freaking SLUT At this point I wanted to throw up. This guy from the pictures I've seen isn't even cute let alone attractive and after having talked to him for a few nights I was wondering how he was getting ass.
Troy:lol
so you're really that easy huh?
Troy:yeah
Troy:I don't feel like that about myself..........I think I'm far from slutty
Troy: I mean.........I've been to a gay bar in New Hope twice..........and this same guy was there both times...........months apart............and I talked to someone who frequents there and they said this guy is there EVERY night...........always goes home with someone different
Troy: he hit on me.......it was gross
Troy:anyway...........yeah.............I can't even imagine how many people he's been with
Troy:I just got chills........gross pickup line
which one
Troy:"beautiful night out, huh? This weather makes my nipples hard"
Troy:and then there was this bar boy walking around in his underwear
Troy:so the bar boy comes over and wanted to put whipped cream on my nipples or something so he lick it off I just ran
Troy:bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh
classy
public licking turn you off?
Troy:well if it was you
Troy:it could have been a much more positive story
i can only imagine how many guys you've said that 2
Troy:but it was this 40 year old guy
haha
Troy:I'm sorry you feel I'm a slut
Troy:please keep reminding me of it though
Troy:as often as possible
Troy:it really makes me feel better about myself!
Troy:and I don't see you answering all these probing questions
cause i'm asking you
what probing questions do you have
Troy: well I want you to answer the same
Troy: what's your number I'm not sure if he meant sexual partners or telephone.
867-5309
Troy: cute
have you ever been in a 3 some
Troy: you answer first
no
Troy: so how do my answers to these questions affect your perception of me
none Because at this point I know I don't want to go on a date with you.
Troy: like is there some imaginar score that is going down as we speak Is there a place past rock bottom?
Troy: and you're cringing and saying "ummmm yah no chance of meeting him"
Troy: or what
why so evasive
Troy: what am I being evasive about
I've answered every question
Troy: the threesome
Troy: it's just as we go on I feel crappier
Troy: yes, I've been in a threesome twice In my head and itunes the music ques up and I see this
Troy: both were when I was 20/21
were the other guys hot
Troy:hmmmm I'd say so
Troy:funny thing is
Troy:they both had to do with work
Troy:one was a coworker at the time and his boyfriend
Troy:and the other was a customer at that job and his boyfriend
and how did they approach you
Troy:the coworker.......I had seen him working at his previous job before he started at Lowe's and I thought he was gorgeous. then he started working with me........he found out I was gay through another coworker.......so he asked me to go to lunch. found out he had a boyfriend.......but then he made out with me........very confusing...anyway...........he invited me over to hang out with him and his boyfriend
so his boyfriend that night said "never kiss my boyfriend again without my permission" and then he made out with me too LOL and then the threesome began
gotcha
and the customer one?
Troy:the customer I had when I worked at the customer service desk, had helped him out with a problem on his transaction then when I was online that night he found my profile and recognized me and sent me an e-mail inviting me over to hang otu with him and his boyfriend Cause that's not creepy
Troy:we hung out in the hot tub........and yah things went from there
Troy:I actually really enjoyed that one
why more than the other one?
Troy:it was just really chill and relaxing, they had their own house.......hot tub........
Troy:and there really wasn't pressure to do anything
Troy:it just happened
Troy:and we really just.......sat around watching porn and touching each other and jerking each other off
Troy:it wasn't more than that
that's not a 3 some
3 some is sex
Troy:pffffffffff
Troy:fine then I only had one 3some
Troy:sheesh
Troy:and........
Troy:I only had sex with the one
so it wasn't even a 3some I know ménage à trois and that is not one!
Troy:it was a 2some with a third watching
oh...
Troy:sooooooooooo when can we go on that romantic date
are you sure you can fit me in? you sound so booked
Troy:you suck
Troy:so um
Troy:how do you feel toward me?
honestly i don't know Liar! I know how I feel I just didn't have the balls to say I don't like you as anything but an online chat buddy
Troy:elaborate
you're fun to talk to
Troy:haha
Troy:and?
and
Troy:if it's any consolation I've used protection every time Considering I will never think of you sexually I don't really care.
Troy: and I'm clean
Troy:and haven't done anything risky since last tested
Troy:or anything at all for that matter
i think you're making a big deal out of your past
Troy: just feel judged I guess Well you are by myself and my epic 3(?) readers
Boring interlude where he called me cute and fun to talk too...He always asks this when conversation lulls
Troy: whatcha thinking
why did the hamburglar have to get compromised
Troy: ?
dont worry about it
so what is on your mind
Troy: stop doing thatTroy: I'd prefer you explain something so I no longer feel completely stupid
you wouldn't understand it anyway
so it's not a big deal
Troy: don't assume that either
Troy: that makes me feel stupid too
Another lapse in the convo and I get this...
Troy: muah
there goes that line again
Then he goes on to talk about how he loves sex, porn, kissing and cuddling, he calls me sexy, and offered another date. He clearly can't take the hint that I'm not interested...I just need to ignore him all together.
Here is the dog riding a ram!
*clickith the ram*
So back to reality. No job as of yet. I can honestly say I have not been giving it enough attention. This weekend is going to be crazy I'm going to a game and a concert so I will update how that goes. I think that's it as far as updates go. My life is really boring right now.
Until tomorrow farewell
*clickith the Jensen*
I wish that shit moved on it's own...
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