Time to get bitchy

Ok first I saw this like two months ago and haven't posted it yet, but it describes me to a T.

Truer words were never spoken. Even though nothing about that describes me in reality....moving on.

So on Yahoo news they were discussing two new eating disorders that are becoming more common. This part of the report made me laugh

My mother would be an adult picky eater. Mainly because she has food allergies and tends to stick to food that doesn't upset her stomach.

Orthorexics is that the new technical term for a vegan?

If this next section of my entry were a Britney Spears song it'd be called Boys. But not the remix obviously because remixes tend to be good and this is just well not.

Pretext to the story: So this guy who we will call Troy. I use this name because he jokingly likes this name better than his real name. He contacted me on that site, he was nothing but nice and wanted to chat on aim. We talk and he has asked me out about 3 times now and I have told him that I'm not really interested because he lives an hour away. Oh I also am incredibly sarcastic to him and I think it's starting to hurt his feelings...and he's incredibly gay. Like I can handle some but I fear he might be deemed flaming if we ever meet. Note as I was re-reading our convo some of it is boring. If you would like to skip this section you will note that the end of it will be marked with a picture of a dog riding a giant ram.

Troy: Hi Mike

Hey Troy

Troy:how was your night?

it was decent until i realize my wii is broken

Troy:sorry to hear that

you did it, didn't you

Troy:hmmmmmmm
Troy:I'll replace it I promise :'-(

nah it's cool
save yer money for a flat

Troy:ouch

what was mean about that?

Troy:oh sorry I took it meanl ol

i said save your money for an apartment
that was mean?

Troy:I dunno
Troy:you could mean it mean
Troy:nevermind
Troy:if you meant nothing by it there's nothing for me to explain
Troy:so ummmmmm
Troy: whatcha doing

sorry was talking to my mom

boring stuff that lead us to this point


where you driving i thought you had nothing till sunday


Troy: well I'd like to plan something
Troy:hang out with a friend or something  I think he means me

go call them up


Troy:well so far they're all working
Troy:I'm the only one with a 9-5

what a way to make a living
so what's your dream job

Troy:that's a good question
Troy: something well paying in California
Troy:like Ellen Degeneres' assistant or something
Troy:that'd be pretty sweet
Troy:something in the entertainment industry where I can get tickets to anything I want
Troy:haha

^^ Lots of Ims like that in a row means I was playing warcraft and was not paying attention to him.

usually you have to work during that stuff

Troy:well I didn't think we were being realistic
Troy:haha

ok describe your dream boyfriend I saw his answer coming by the way...


Troy:extremely sarcastic
Troy: *my state* resident
Troy:likes to pick on me
Troy:haha

you must have low self esteem to like mean guys

Troy:where did I say mean to me?

pick on you

Troy:playfully
Troy:(hopefully)
Troy:someone who listens to me. Who can hold a serious conversation. Who will be 100% honest
Troy:someone who is as interested in me as I am them Which is going to be hard because as you read you will soon realize how uninteresting he is...
Troy:one sided is definitely no fun
Troy:of course I suppose I then have to be interesting as well.......so that could propose a challeng
Troy:how about you?


i apologize for being so rude I realized that each attempt on the boss in WoW I was answering every 8 minutes and 35 seconds
and taking my time there was some drama


Troy:it's ok I understand
Troy:I don't think you're rude

I do it's ignorant to not at least say hold on


Troy:it happens to the best of us

so my dream guy
5'9
short blonde hair
ocean blue eyes
irish accent
I have no idea who I could possibly be referring to how about you Kian or Nicky?

Troy:I'm picturing this actor who was in Eat. Pray. Love. briefly
Troy:although I guess he was kinda more aussie than irish

aussie rugby players Mentally I was referring to David Williams as shown below

Troy:oh yum
Troy:would you accept lazy boy next door?
Troy:lol
Troy:who is slightly taller
Troy:irish heritage minus the accent haha

oh sorry forgot
husky irish accent

Troy:huh?

like a husky voice

Troy:oh my
Troy:maybe during role play Was that supposed to excite me? Cause it didn't.


you know it sounds almost strained and heavy but that's their normal raspy voice I am very skeptical that a guy like this exists what do you think?

Nicky is skeptical too...anyway

Troy: interesting
Troy: better keep looking then Trust me I plan on it.
Troy: haha

oh i know where it's at

Troy:http://adorkablegrrl.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/then-we-started-kissing-like-this.jpg
Troy:makes me laugh every time

i see that everyday

Boring guessing game of what I named my hamster. He said cummerbund...just because I'm gay does not mean I'd name my hamster something as equally as gay.

Troy:maybe if I went down clients at work I would have gotten that one

lots of ruskies?

Troy:hmm?
Troy:my exes?or the clients
Troy:nvm

so do you not play sports/activities?


Troy:no
Troy:I go to zumba class on Monday nights
Troy:work out
Troy:been doing that for like 3 or 4 months now
Insert brief delay of him confusing my sarcasm for reality.

Troy:yeah I like it because.........>>I hate to work out........and when I do that I have fun and enjoy it
Troy:I don't feel criticized........and the two instructors are really fun
Troy:it's kinda like...........take a vegetable you hate then fry it and dip it in ranch dressing
Troy:kinda makes the pill easier to swallow

eh not a big fan of deep fried stuff
trying not to get fat


Troy:me neither

how tall are you?

Troy:6'4

and how much do you weigh

Troy:haha love how it's always prefaced by how tall are you
Troy: I haven't weighed myself recently

well 5'4 160 is different than 6'4 160

Troy:but anywhere between 190 and 205
Troy:34 - 36" waist

gotcha


Troy:people typically call me skinny
Troy:except for vain gay guys with 6 pack abs

i just like to compare
i'm 6'4 as well

Troy:nice
Troy:how much do you weigh?

4 pac abs <~~~ complete lie
i'm 170 <~~~ Truth

Troy:cool
Troy:I think it'd be the most amazing thing in the world
Troy:to just once...........go to kiss a guy..........and be face to face
Troy:without having to lean down Was I supposed to be like aww I'm so that guy? Because I'm not.

well as my mother always says, it doesn't matter when you're laying down

Troy:lmao
Troy:I knew that was coming
Troy:but still
Troy:I'd so love to meet someone my height

Here is the point where by posting this I'm probably violating a lot of trust and privacy issues but that's why I use fake names to protect the innocent parties.

so how many boyfriends have you had?

Troy:I'll say two
Troy:nothing else has made it to that status

could people not see the 3rd? I think his last boyfriend was

Troy:haha yeah he was imaginary

did that enhance the sex life?

Troy:yes unfortunately
Troy:well there's nothing unfortunate about enhanced sex life
Troy:so scratch that


Idle chat that led to a joke that started a sex talk...

Troy:and I even considered bringing your mom into it

go for it

Troy:naaaaaaaaah I won't stoop to your level

please do i love the company

Troy:only if when I stoop down it's accompanied by a ::zip flop:: sound At that point I had rolled my eyes for the 357 time that night

you need to get laid me thinks


Troy:I do
Troy:I won't lie

haha

Troy:is that a bad thing?

no it happens
how long has it been

Troy:I don't have an exact count for you, but many months

slut

Troy:at least 6

haha

Troy:pfffffffff
Troy:far from it

what's your number

Dumb-ass gives me his phone number

i meant sexual number

Troy:haha
Troy:dick size?

no like number of guys and girls you've been with

Troy:OH
Troy:I don't have a count sorry
Troy:well 0 girls
Troy:if that helps

*rolls eyes*

Troy:if you're going to talk specific acts
Troy:then certian numbers are much lower than others

sex
like sex

Troy:like anal?

is that how 2 men have sex?

Troy:yes
Troy:there's oral as well
Troy:I want to say around 5 or 6

oral does not count in the sexual numbers game

Troy:great
Troy:because I'd be a total freaking SLUT At this point I wanted to throw up. This guy from the pictures I've seen isn't even cute let alone attractive and after having talked to him for a few nights I was wondering how he was getting ass.
Troy:lol

so you're really that easy huh?

Troy:yeah
Troy:I don't feel like that about myself..........I think I'm far from slutty
Troy: I mean.........I've been to a gay bar in New Hope twice..........and this same guy was there both times...........months apart............and I talked to someone who frequents there and they said this guy is there EVERY night...........always goes home with someone different
Troy: he hit on me.......it was gross
Troy:anyway...........yeah.............I can't even imagine how many people he's been with
Troy:I just got chills........gross pickup line

which one

Troy:"beautiful night out, huh? This weather makes my nipples hard"
Troy:and then there was this bar boy walking around in his underwear
Troy:so the bar boy comes over and wanted to put whipped cream on my nipples or something so he lick it off I just ran
Troy:bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh

classy
public licking turn you off?

Troy:well if it was you
Troy:it could have been a much more positive story

i can only imagine how many guys you've said that 2

Troy:but it was this 40 year old guy

haha

Troy:I'm sorry you feel I'm a slut
Troy:please keep reminding me of it though
Troy:as often as possible
Troy:it really makes me feel better about myself!
Troy:and I don't see you answering all these probing questions

cause i'm asking you
what probing questions do you have


Troy: well I want you to answer the same
Troy: what's your number I'm not sure if he meant sexual partners or telephone.

867-5309

Troy: cute

have you ever been in a 3 some

Troy: you answer first

no

Troy: so how do my answers to these questions affect your perception of me

none Because at this point I know I don't want to go on a date with you.

Troy: like is there some imaginar score that is going down as we speak Is there a place past rock bottom?
Troy: and you're cringing and saying "ummmm yah no chance of meeting him"
Troy: or what

why so evasive

Troy: what am I being evasive about

I've answered every question

Troy: the threesome
Troy: it's just as we go on I feel crappier
Troy: yes, I've been in a threesome twice In my head and itunes the music ques up and I see this

 Bee Tee Dubs why is so damn gorgeous?
Troy: both were when I was 20/21

were the other guys hot

Troy:hmmmm I'd say so
Troy:funny thing is
Troy:they both had to do with work
Troy:one was a coworker at the time and his boyfriend
Troy:and the other was a customer at that job and his boyfriend

and how did they approach you

Troy:the coworker.......I had seen him working at his previous job before he started at Lowe's and I thought he was gorgeous. then he started working with me........he found out I was gay through another coworker.......so he asked me to go to lunch. found out he had a boyfriend.......but then he made out with me........very confusing...anyway...........he invited me over to hang out with him and his boyfriend
so his boyfriend that night said "never kiss my boyfriend again without my permission" and then he made out with me too LOL and then the threesome began

gotcha
and the customer one?

Troy:the customer I had when I worked at the customer service desk, had helped him out with a problem on his transaction then when I was online that night he found my profile and recognized me and sent me an e-mail inviting me over to hang otu with him and his boyfriend Cause that's not creepy
Troy:we hung out in the hot tub........and yah things went from there
Troy:I actually really enjoyed that one

why more than the other one?


Troy:it was just really chill and relaxing, they had their own house.......hot tub........
Troy:and there really wasn't pressure to do anything
Troy:it just happened
Troy:and we really just.......sat around watching porn and touching each other and jerking each other off
Troy:it wasn't more than that

that's not a 3 some
3 some is sex

Troy:pffffffffff
Troy:fine then I only had one 3some
Troy:sheesh
Troy:and........
Troy:I only had sex with the one

so it wasn't even a 3some I know ménage à trois and that is not one!

Troy:it was a 2some with a third watching

oh...

Troy:sooooooooooo when can we go on that romantic date


are you sure you can fit me in? you sound so booked

Troy:you suck
Troy:so um
Troy:how do you feel toward me?

honestly i don't know Liar! I know how I feel I just didn't have the balls to say I don't like you as anything but an online chat buddy

Troy:elaborate

you're fun to talk to

Troy:haha
Troy:and?

and

Troy:if it's any consolation I've used protection every time Considering I will never think of you sexually I don't really care.
Troy: and I'm clean
Troy:and haven't done anything risky since last tested
Troy:or anything at all for that matter

i think you're making a big deal out of your past

Troy: just feel judged I guess Well you are by myself and my epic 3(?) readers

Boring interlude where he called me cute and fun to talk too...He always asks this when conversation lulls

 
Troy: whatcha thinking

why did the hamburglar have to get compromised
Troy:  ?

dont worry about it
so what is on your mind
Troy: stop doing thatTroy: I'd prefer you explain something so I no longer feel completely stupid

you wouldn't understand it anyway
so it's not a big deal

Troy: don't assume that either

Troy: that makes me feel stupid too

I'm pretty sure he'd never figure this one out:

Another lapse in the convo and I get this...

Troy: muah

there goes that line again 

Then he goes on to talk about how he loves sex, porn, kissing and cuddling, he calls me sexy, and offered another date. He clearly can't take the hint that I'm not interested...I just need to ignore him all together.

Here is the dog riding a ram!

*clickith the ram*

So back to reality. No job as of yet. I can honestly say I have not been giving it enough attention. This weekend is going to be crazy I'm going to a game and a concert so I will update how that goes. I think that's it as far as updates go. My life is really boring right now.

Until tomorrow farewell

*clickith the Jensen*

I wish that shit moved on it's own...

Yes, I am alive.

So this is my first post after surgery. That was an experience all in its own. for the most part the two doctor's visits to my surgery totaled to a massive 5 minutes. the first time I went I waited about a half hour then he stepped in the room, made me cough as he pushed, said I had a hernia and would do the simple mesh procedure. That was it. Didn't explain anything. I had to ask him about it. Then a week later I had surgery. Which hurt but it wasn't completely horrible. Although the percocet didn't make me tired it just got me hyper and made it so I couldn't sleep. I was awake from 11am Thursday morning till 7pm Friday night before I finally got a little shut eye. But come Saturday I had a lovely surprise, half of my penis and testicles were black. No one cared to explain to me that all the blood from surgery settles there in men, if I was a woman it would've just gone down my leg. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EXPLAINING THAT...OH YOU DIDN'T!! That was such a nice surprise that I had to Google such important information. Anyway I slowly recovered by watching every movie/show that was OnDemand. Then about 2 weeks after surgery I had my check up. I waited 45 minutes for him to literally be in the room not even a full two minutes. He just looked at it said, looks good-you're all set. That's it. Not you can now drive again, you can now lift more than 20 lbs. Nothing. Just you're all set. Post surgery I'd like a few more words of encouragement as to be fully healed considering at that point I was still pretty bruised at the surgery site, my testicles were still pretty bruised, and I still had some pain. All set doesn't feel very apropos here.

Although the only thing that made me laugh during this whole mess is that Nicky had the same surgery. Incoming gratuitous Nicky picture:

Let's discuss my World of Warcraft life for a moment:

That's Kian. My very sexy Gnome Magician. I wish I had a picture of him on his motorcycle but well I don't right now. Anyway since I've been recovering, I've been spending more time on WoW. the guild I'm in has been short raiders and I have filled in every raid night for the past two weeks. On Sunday there was a boss fight I really wanted to do and long story short they took a mage who is bad. He has bad raid awareness (this means if a boss shots fire on the floor you are supposed to move, he could likely get hit by it) he also has internet issues and disconnects frequently. So they took him over me. I'm not saying I'm the greatest player but I have been told several times by guild leaders that I'm a good raider because I know how to survive in raid. Plus I don't lag/disconnect every raid. This other mage literally had disconnected every raid for the past 2 weeks that  I've been there. I know the only reason they picked him over me is that I pretty much quit for 2 months. It just annoys me. Reminds me of how I'm on the back burner these days.

Now the topic I love to hate and hate to love: Boys

So thanks for the paragraph Keith. I'm sure you have copy and pasted that to a few guys. Maybe I'm dumb but I have zero idea what b2b sales are, nor do I want too. I think it's weird he's asking me for a drink/hang out. Don't people have fear of getting raped/murdered/mugged?

I hate rape o'clock its my least favorite time of day.

So the other boys I've talked to include a ballerina, an opera singer, a guy from DC who is bored out of his mind said lets chat then you know-never chatted back?, a guy who has wolf print tattoos on his V and wants more wolf tattoos, and another guy who made me want a decoder ring. I think it may be time to take a haitus from there from a bit. The talent pool seems to be pretty damn shallow. Although I will say I have been feeling more confident and messaging a lot more people although with very little success. But 'until I try I'll never know'

RANDOM THOUGHTS!

1. The Britney remix of S&M was very disappointing

2. I do not feel like looking for a job but I know I must.
3. My room is completly disguisting.
4. I want a new outfit because I want to feel like I look good post surgery yuckness.
5. I miss CS and his infinite Irish wisdom.

Oh I did finish a chapter of Senior Year thanks to the help of my assistant Kit. Which I need to post as soon as I remember to post it.

So the final installment of this update my weekend adventure...

My friend 'Rachel' who no longer lives in this state invited me to her friend's bday party. I met the girl a few times but I have never really talked to her. However I know Rachel has some crazy fun friends so I brought Chris and invited a couple other people (who didn't show). But that night turned out I knew the bartender at the party from my old working days. Needless to say that fact was one of the highlights of my night which should give you some inclination as to how crap the rest of the night was. So pretty much the first part of the party was at a bar where we had the whole back room. There was cake and I ordered food and it was decent. I got to watch the Flyers game so all was well. At 10 Rachel was like ok we are moving. So we wait. And wait. And wait some more finally at 10:35 we moved. Now if any of you are wondering why 35 mins seems long. At a bar if you are about you move you really don't get a drink or start to do anything. So you stand there for 30 mins waiting for this big bar shift and it gets old fast.

So we move to a bar down the street. Rachel goes who needs a drink out of the 6 of us (Chris wasn't drinking) 5 of us said yeah. Rachel gets 4 beers. She got everyone but me one. Ok...I was a bit annoyed by that but ok maybe she didn't hear me? But I'm pretty sure she did. Fast forward 15 minutes and only half a beer later Rachel wants to move to a different bar to dance. So we move again...

New bar this time with 80/90's dance music. It was a lot of fun as the group of like 10 of us were dancing. Jump ahead 15 minutes there's only me, Chris, Rachel, and this girl Linda. Everyone else just drifted off/went to a tequila bar. So we are dancing having fun for another like 10-15 mins, then Rachel and Linda are like we'll be back we are going to the bathroom. So Chris and I save her spot. But during this time I'm bitter because 'Like I Love You' by Jtimbs comes on and I have no one to dance with. SO FUCKING LAME. Chris and I waited a half hour the girls never show up. We decide to go look for them. We go to the other room which has a band- no sign of them. The band was playing a song I liked so I was like eh lets stay here while Chris went to the bathroom. Que Rachel who shows up like 2 seconds after Chris leaves. 'Oh sorry I liked the song and we went dancing' That's what she said to me...really you couldn't have taken the two second to grab me and Chris in the half hour you were gone? Anyway she wanted to leave to visit the birthday girl and her fiance at the tequila bar. Which was lame. Before we even went out that night I told Chris I get tired easy from my surgery so if I want to leave can we go. He said yeah that's fine. He didn't want me to over do it.

We walk up the street to the Tequila bar. Meanwhile we are with this guy Todd who just turned 21 the week before. Todd is white trash. He's on the street basically yelling, wearing a bandana he was given by the Jager girls at the first bar we were at. I say this because the Tequila bar was actually classy. There were people in sport coats/ties. They were dressed up and he wanted to roll up wearing a bandanna and acting a mess. So we got in and there are 4 of them and about 5 of us. Well they pretty much make room for everyone but me and Chris. We are standing there awkwardly. I told Chris I was ready to leave. He said he wasn't ready just yet. He wanted to stay there and try and hit on Linda. What happened to Bro's before Hoes? Like you said you'd take me home, I'm bored, and in pain. Yet you want to stay and hit on a girl you barely know or have a shot with. So I said ok we can stay just because I know Chris has nothing going on in his life. Thank God my cousin was around to text because for the next half hour I didn't talk to a single person. While all this is going on I can hear Todd talking he's pretty much yelling Faggot at everything this other guy says. We are in a full bar and he's yelling that it's like grow the hell up. Then as if the night wasn't bad enough Todd comes over to me whilst texting and goes 'You don't talk much'. And I gave him a dirty look and said 'ok'. He then says 'are you a terrorist?' I'm like 'what?' He then says 'Well you don't talk. Like there is a normal level of talking and you don't hit that' I'm like 'Do I look like a terrorist' He replies with 'I don't know. Lots of people Muslim' So as if yelling Faggot wasn't enough to look douchey he's now accusing me of being a terrorist because I don't want to associate myself with/talk to him. I said 'No I talk. However you talk too much. Are you a terrorist?' He's like 'no I talk so i'm not' And I said 'Well that could be a clever ruse to hide that you are one' At this point he was either confused or wanted to walk away cause he said 'look i'm sorry if I offended you. I didn't mean it or nothing.' I rolled my eyes and went back to texting. So like a couple minutes later Rachel decided she wanted to go back to dancing. As we walked out of the bar we ran into some people who were with us earlier in the night. Linda liked one of those guys so she went over and started talking to him. SHOCKER! Chris was now ready to go home. Fucking tool. We left. It was such a stupid and lame fucking night.

The only other highlight of my night was when Linda said she liked my jacket and that I was one of the best dancers she's ever seen. You know why? Cause I got it...

 

*clickith*